Are you dreading something coming up? Is there some activity in your planner that you know is coming up and it leaves you feeling awful? You can't cancel the appointment. You have to do it. So what can you do?
Person A
Person A has some very negative feelings. They might be anger, dread, fear, anxiety. These all stem from a fear response. This person knows that whatever is going to happen is going to be bad. This person doesn't think about details or exactly what is bothering them about the event. They just know they don't like it. So instead of thinking about it and mulling over exactly what the issues are, Person A doesn't think about it and if they do, they immediately react like a cornered animal, lashing out with either flight(fear) or fight (anger.) This person has already set themselves up for failure and the event will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Person B
Person B doesn't like the event. This isn't something that they went out of their way to do. They'd much rather do something fun but they know the appointment is going to happen. So they begin to think about it. They think about specifics. Person B doesn't react with feelings, they ask themselves, "What exactly is bothering me about this? What is causing these feelings inside me?" They may run through the day and think about all the things that will happen. They may think about good things that might happen as well as the bad but they will do so realistically and in as much detail as possible. Person B accepts the situation and acknowledges exactly what upsets them.
What's the Difference?
You might say that Person A is just a grump and Person B has their head in the clouds but the real answer is their attitude. Both people have the same appointment. Both people do not want this to happen but it's going to happen anyway. But Person A is reacting to the problem and Person B is thinking about the problem. The difference here is in their attitude! You may have to go to a work-related event or the doctor's office for test results but you can approach either one without such strong feelings.
Putting it into Perspective
Try thinking about all of things that will happen this week. Think about going to wherever it is you don't want to go. Imagine yourself walking in the door. Think about the sights, the smells, the sounds. Imagine what you're wearing. Now imagine exactly what you think will happen. How will the day go? Imagine that the day is past and you are now reflecting over everything that occurred. Think about the things that bother you about this event. If you define the things that bother you in as much detail as possible, you may find that your feelings of worry or anger start to fade just a little. If you're dreading that dentist appointment, imagine all of the things that could possibly go wrong. Try adding some silly things that could happen. Say the receptionist bursts into the room and tells the dentist that she's in love with him so the dentist leaves the office and doesn't finish working on your teeth. After you've had a chance to think about all the things that could go wrong, change the story and make it the best day you've ever had. Maybe instead, the dentist could fall in love with you.
Again, your attitude is the only thing separating you from being Person A or Person B. Try to think about how great you'd feel if it turned out to be the greatest day of your life instead of the worst. You might find that you walk in with a smile on your face and a song in your heart and that will make all the difference!
Sunday, July 22, 2018
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
A Focus on Meditation: Box Breathing vs. Mantra Meditation
I've been experimenting with types of meditation this year to figure out what works best for me. I started with a form of Mantra Meditation and practiced for about three months. I then moved on to Box Breathing or Heart Rhythm Meditation as it is also known.
Mantra Meditation is the practice of using a phrase to focus yourself during meditation. You can sit however you like. Some people choose the typical seated position
while others may choose to sit in azchair. Choose whatever is comfortable for you. I chose to sit on the floor. It's important that you are comfortable, your back is straight and you are centered. Bad posture with slumped shoulders is bad for you and can be painful if you plan on staying in the same position for long periods of time. So sit up straight!
After you have seated yourself, begin your mantra. You can say your mantra as many times as you want for whatever interval of time that you choose. There are hundred of mantras that you can choose but whatever you choose should reflect the purpose of your meditation. If you are seeking calm, choose a word that reflects this. You might choose a word that reflects happiness, courage, or some other positive feeling. My mantra was a little different.
I chose a modified form of the Catholic Rosary. I am a very tactile person so I made a rosary and went through it to help me focus. There are tons of different ways to say the rosary. Now Catholics may roll their eyes but for the purposes of meditation, you can do whatever you want.
I bought wooden beads at a craft store. Some were square, some were round. I chose different shapes based on where in the rosary I happened to be. I put them together with a leather cord. These homemade rosary beads made my meditation more personal to me. In turn, this kept me focused on the words, my mantra, rather than counting to make sure I had said each part enough times.
I practiced this every night right before bed and found that I slept like a baby, regardless of what had been going on that day.
Eventually I tried a new method, Box Breathing
Box breathing sounds weird. But all it is is breathing in a pattern. To practice box breathing you can do one of two things.
And that's all I have. In a few months, I will try a different form of meditation, at which point I will make another blog entry related to meditation. Good luck in your travels seekers! Go find your peace!
Mantra Meditation is the practice of using a phrase to focus yourself during meditation. You can sit however you like. Some people choose the typical seated position
while others may choose to sit in azchair. Choose whatever is comfortable for you. I chose to sit on the floor. It's important that you are comfortable, your back is straight and you are centered. Bad posture with slumped shoulders is bad for you and can be painful if you plan on staying in the same position for long periods of time. So sit up straight!
After you have seated yourself, begin your mantra. You can say your mantra as many times as you want for whatever interval of time that you choose. There are hundred of mantras that you can choose but whatever you choose should reflect the purpose of your meditation. If you are seeking calm, choose a word that reflects this. You might choose a word that reflects happiness, courage, or some other positive feeling. My mantra was a little different.
I chose a modified form of the Catholic Rosary. I am a very tactile person so I made a rosary and went through it to help me focus. There are tons of different ways to say the rosary. Now Catholics may roll their eyes but for the purposes of meditation, you can do whatever you want.
 |
| http://www.stjudetheapostleparish.org/rosary/rosary_chart.html |
I bought wooden beads at a craft store. Some were square, some were round. I chose different shapes based on where in the rosary I happened to be. I put them together with a leather cord. These homemade rosary beads made my meditation more personal to me. In turn, this kept me focused on the words, my mantra, rather than counting to make sure I had said each part enough times.
I practiced this every night right before bed and found that I slept like a baby, regardless of what had been going on that day.
Eventually I tried a new method, Box Breathing
Box breathing sounds weird. But all it is is breathing in a pattern. To practice box breathing you can do one of two things.
- You can feel for your pulse on your neck or wrist and breathe in or out for a few heartbeats
- You can breathe in or out for a few seconds.
I had a lot of trouble trying to focus on my heartbeat and with holding my fingers on my carotid artery (that giant blood vessel in your neck.) So, after three days, I chose to count seconds.
To make it even easier on myself, I use an app that counts off seconds. Sort of like a virtual metronome. But this app, Prana Breath has options that allow you to know which part of box breathing you should be doing at any given time. This kind of meditation has quickly become my favorite. So how does box breathing work?
- Find a quiet, dark place
- Sit up straight (Remember you will be holding this position for a while. So good posture is important!)
- Breathe in for three to five seconds.
- Hold your breath for the same amount of time
- Breathe out for the same amount of time
- Hold your breath for the same amount of time
- Repeat for 10 minutes or however long you wish to meditate.
And that's it! It really is that simple. Some people use this method with a 12 second count. I am not there yet. I would not suggest that you do this if it is your first time. Some people complain that they feel they are suffocating. If this happens, change your breath count to a lower time. The name of this blog is Finding Peace, not kill yourself trying to meditate.
And that's all I have. In a few months, I will try a different form of meditation, at which point I will make another blog entry related to meditation. Good luck in your travels seekers! Go find your peace!
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