Are you dreading something coming up? Is there some activity in your planner that you know is coming up and it leaves you feeling awful? You can't cancel the appointment. You have to do it. So what can you do?
Person A
Person A has some very negative feelings. They might be anger, dread, fear, anxiety. These all stem from a fear response. This person knows that whatever is going to happen is going to be bad. This person doesn't think about details or exactly what is bothering them about the event. They just know they don't like it. So instead of thinking about it and mulling over exactly what the issues are, Person A doesn't think about it and if they do, they immediately react like a cornered animal, lashing out with either flight(fear) or fight (anger.) This person has already set themselves up for failure and the event will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Person B
Person B doesn't like the event. This isn't something that they went out of their way to do. They'd much rather do something fun but they know the appointment is going to happen. So they begin to think about it. They think about specifics. Person B doesn't react with feelings, they ask themselves, "What exactly is bothering me about this? What is causing these feelings inside me?" They may run through the day and think about all the things that will happen. They may think about good things that might happen as well as the bad but they will do so realistically and in as much detail as possible. Person B accepts the situation and acknowledges exactly what upsets them.
What's the Difference?
You might say that Person A is just a grump and Person B has their head in the clouds but the real answer is their attitude. Both people have the same appointment. Both people do not want this to happen but it's going to happen anyway. But Person A is reacting to the problem and Person B is thinking about the problem. The difference here is in their attitude! You may have to go to a work-related event or the doctor's office for test results but you can approach either one without such strong feelings.
Putting it into Perspective
Try thinking about all of things that will happen this week. Think about going to wherever it is you don't want to go. Imagine yourself walking in the door. Think about the sights, the smells, the sounds. Imagine what you're wearing. Now imagine exactly what you think will happen. How will the day go? Imagine that the day is past and you are now reflecting over everything that occurred. Think about the things that bother you about this event. If you define the things that bother you in as much detail as possible, you may find that your feelings of worry or anger start to fade just a little. If you're dreading that dentist appointment, imagine all of the things that could possibly go wrong. Try adding some silly things that could happen. Say the receptionist bursts into the room and tells the dentist that she's in love with him so the dentist leaves the office and doesn't finish working on your teeth. After you've had a chance to think about all the things that could go wrong, change the story and make it the best day you've ever had. Maybe instead, the dentist could fall in love with you.
Again, your attitude is the only thing separating you from being Person A or Person B. Try to think about how great you'd feel if it turned out to be the greatest day of your life instead of the worst. You might find that you walk in with a smile on your face and a song in your heart and that will make all the difference!
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